Switzerland declares neutrality on Sweden

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In a move that shocked the international diplomatic community, Switzerland today declared neutrality on Sweden. The small land-locked European nation is best known for declaring neutrality on Nazi German during World War II and on Turkey during the latter nation’s struggle with Kurdish separatists. A small group of neo-con scholars thinkers commentators have long noticed the menacing buildup of Swiss defensive facilities such as residential bomb shelters and bridges ready to be destroyed to keep invaders out which have given Switzerland a dominant neutral position in foreign affairs. Despite this massive buildup of non-weaponized deffensive facilities (NWDF), Switzerland has largely been able to fly under the radar. Having not attacked a foreign nation in a few centuries, mainstream analysts have paid little attention to the Swiss NWDF buildup, allowing Swiss preparations for today’s stunning declaration to go largely unnoticed, like the nation itself.

Neither the President Bush nor Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice has spoken in public about Switzerland’s action. State Department spokesman Rick Stivits stated that the administration was still analyzing the implications of today’s announcement, but for the time being they were baffled and uncertain why a nation would declare neutrality. “We are still gathering intelligence and trying to understand what Switzerland is trying to accomplish through neutrality and whether or not this action poses a threat to the United States. In the meantime, we urge Americans to stay calm.” Mr Stivits when on to add that analysts in the Department of State and the Pentagon were still trying to determine whether this action had any impact on the Unites States or whether we could continue to ignore insignificant nations of no strategic importance. Asked under what circumstances the United States might declare neutrality on a sovereign foreign power, Mr. Stivits said that he was not at liberty to speculate on future actions, but did clarify that neutrality has not been a traditional US strategy and he knew of no plans to change that. He added that at 3:00pm EDT Mr. Bush is not expected to address the nation from the Oval Office on this matter.

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