In which your hero is spared a life of arrogance and stunted creativity thanks to a relay race gone wrong and a pedophile.

The Best of Our Energies

The story of a visionary president, a moonshot and the most powerful toilet bowl cleaners known to man.


Being an explanation of why blog categories just don’t work for me and why the navigation is so useless on this blog.

The Hotel on Pluto

Ahwahnee, Majestic, planet, not a planet. Does it make any difference? For some people it’s a big deal. For me, not so much, but if I can just get investors for my hotel on Pluto, I can make the people who care very happy.

The Forgetoir

Picture of abandoned railway station in the desert

As we edge toward the third decade of the 21st century, I have decided that it is time to forge ahead with a new literary genre — the forgetoir, a record of all the things we’ve forgotten or, at least, are trying to forget.

A Theory of Dryer Crimes

Jason lived between a hammer and an anvil, between his wife and the Caledcotts

Your life is awesome? Great!

I’m troubled by how awesome you all are on Facebook. This is why my Facebook feed seems so impersonal

The Academy Weighs in on Life Hacking

There is no English Academy, like there is for French, to protect our language from Philistines. So I’m saying it here: if I ever say in seriousness that I have found a great new lifehack, please shoot me. There’s nothing left worth saving.