How to Tell Tom from Las Vegas

People are always telling me I look a lot like Las Vegas. Here is a brief guide to help people tell us apart.

Meets Expectations (a one-sentence novel)

As I sat in front of the television in my bathrobe eating cold soup straight from the can, I was struck by the feeling that I was not going to exceed my father’s expectations. Epilogue. My hopes were renewed when I noted that at least I had taken time to dig a spoon from the […]

Bowling Deaths Double

This is an earlier draft of an essay that appears in my collection of essays which you should, of course, own right? Why? Well, let me tell you why you should buy the Raised by Turtles book. Rise of extreme bowling blamed by industry Consumer protection advocates have released a study today showing that bowling-related […]

Switzerland declares neutrality on Sweden

In a move that shocked the international diplomatic community, Switzerland today declared neutrality on Sweden. The small land-locked European nation is best known for declaring neutrality on Nazi German during World War II and on Turkey during the latter nation’s struggle with Kurdish separatists. A small group of neo-con scholars thinkers commentators have long noticed […]

Era of Change Upon Us Again

I get the headlines from the New York Times emailed to me every day. It saves a lot of money, fuel and paper in the long run. Today, the venerable NYT sent me this headline for the article about Bill Gates stepping down at Microsoft: Gates to Cede Software Reins in Era of Change. At […]